So I've started thinking about the new year, and doing that thing I always do and assume everyone else does, where I think about what a waste of time last year was and how next year would probably be better if I wasn't so rubbish.
Well this year, I'm feeling a bit better. I mean don't get me wrong, I've not achieved much I wanted to. I'm not published and nobody reads anything I write, but hey, so what, right? Let's look at the steps forward and back.
I started this website and blog in this year, I illustrated the whole thing and created a catalogue of work. I wrote a first draft of a novel and I created a brand for myself. I finally cut my hair short after years of wavering, I got a high second class degree and started full time work. I also, pleasantly, lost over half a stone. I got an iPhone and went on holiday and read absolutely loads. I had lunch in Cafe M, and all in all, material things aside, I've been pretty damned happy.
I sent out about 40 postcards to agents and heard back from 4 who turned me down, nobody reads my website or blog, I'm nervous of self promotion and feel like I've achieved nothing this year despite the above. I give up too easily and I get scared too quickly. I know what I want but have no idea how to get it, and am too scared to try.
Hmm. Well on balance, I've done better than I thought, and everything that was bad mainly stems from my own crushing lack of self-worth. Hmm. Am currently considering New Year's resolutions.
In new year news. Guin isn't going too well. I know what's going to happen, but it's a matter of getting there. It's still going to be published, and come out on either Sunday night or Monday morning, every week.
Just so you know, it's about fairy tales and being twisted.
In other, brief news, I read this month's Vogue this morning and noticed for the first time just how appallingly thin some of the catwalk models are. I didn't see the clothes, just the haunting sunken cheeks and spidery fleshless limbs of the beautiful people showing clothes off to their best. Was shocked. I mean, we all want to be thinner, but this is wrong, surely. If you have a copy, I direct you to the bottom left corner of page 33.