Saturday, 26 December 2009

New Year

So I've started thinking about the new year, and doing that thing I always do and assume everyone else does, where I think about what a waste of time last year was and how next year would probably be better if I wasn't so rubbish.

Well this year, I'm feeling a bit better. I mean don't get me wrong, I've not achieved much I wanted to. I'm not published and nobody reads anything I write, but hey, so what, right? Let's look at the steps forward and back.


I started this website and blog in this year, I illustrated the whole thing and created a catalogue of work. I wrote a first draft of a novel and I created a brand for myself. I finally cut my hair short after years of wavering, I got a high second class degree and started full time work. I also, pleasantly, lost over half a stone. I got an iPhone and went on holiday and read absolutely loads. I had lunch in Cafe M, and all in all, material things aside, I've been pretty damned happy.


I sent out about 40 postcards to agents and heard back from 4 who turned me down, nobody reads my website or blog, I'm nervous of self promotion and feel like I've achieved nothing this year despite the above. I give up too easily and I get scared too quickly. I know what I want but have no idea how to get it, and am too scared to try.

Hmm. Well on balance, I've done better than I thought, and everything that was bad mainly stems from my own crushing lack of self-worth. Hmm. Am currently considering New Year's resolutions.

In new year news. Guin isn't going too well. I know what's going to happen, but it's a matter of getting there. It's still going to be published, and come out on either Sunday night or Monday morning, every week.

Just so you know, it's about fairy tales and being twisted.

In other, brief news, I read this month's Vogue this morning and noticed for the first time just how appallingly thin some of the catwalk models are. I didn't see the clothes, just the haunting sunken cheeks and spidery fleshless limbs of the beautiful people showing clothes off to their best. Was shocked. I mean, we all want to be thinner, but this is wrong, surely. If you have a copy, I direct you to the bottom left corner of page 33.

Monday, 21 December 2009

A few bits

Can you believe I am still being royally messed about by fluishness? Had three days off work last week. Am struggling to hear out of one or other ear at any given time. Use the opportunity to whisper about me but for the love of GOD, don't try and tell me anything important in hushed tones.

It's been snowing, as it has everywhere, but looks like it's stopped and is beginning to melt. Have been most amused by seeing my friends fall over in the snow, and if that makes me a bad person, so be it!

In other news, I have *attempted* to put an ad in the yellow pages. Pending.

Guin, now. Ah, Guin. I am beginning to worry about Guin. He is a troublesome sod. I'm hoping he'll turn out right in the end but at the moment he's mucking me about and being a little bastard. Oh well, I've got over a week to give him a bit of a kick.

Oh, and Happy Christmas!

Saturday, 12 December 2009

Flu, Dragonforce and Guin

Meh, I say. Or I would say, if I could speak.

You know of the cold, but I then went and shouted along to Dragonforce playing at the Engine Shed on Thursday, which was TEH AWESOME but has somewhat exacerbated the whole throat thing... now I can't speak. Duno why the rest of my cold got inexplicably and hugely worse at the same time, but nonetheless, I was alright at work on Friday and then today I am 97% mucus. Gross, but true!

So yes, that's what has been happening this week: I went to see Dragonforce which was BRILLO, and by crikey there was an AWFUL LOT of hair there. And a lot of awful hair, but I digress.

Is it just me or are mosh pits stupid? I'm told there are three types, and I witnessed two at the gig - the circular running one and the one where you run into someone, knock them down, help them up, and do it again. I hid behind some burly looking men until they stopped.

Sabaton, (I think that's how they're spelt) were lovely and good and all things fun, and then Dragonforce were... AWESOME. I heart cheesy epic goth metaly music heavily featuring the following words;

Fire, flames, wasteland, spirit, fight, soul, eternity... well you get the idea with that.

The current lack of voice was bloody worth it.

On to actual writerly news, and I've been thinking about the new serial New Year's Resolution ridiculously long story.

It's going to be called, as the title of this post suggests, 'Guin'. I've got a vague idea of the icon for it at the moment so I need to get that done at some point soon, but haven't yet decided how to publish it. It could either be as a blog post every week or I could upload onto the site every week. Blog would obviously be easier but not so smugly swish... Hmm, I'll think about it. I kind of don't want to clog up the blog with story, that's what the website's for.

I've started writing the story in readiness since it always pays to be prepared and I don't reeeeeally think it's cheating. Anyhoo, I've only managed a rubbish 250 words so I'm not getting that much of a head start.

As before, more details as and when I think of them.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009


Hello there.

While not completely recovered from the ever-recurring winter blues (walking to work in the dark is just WRONG), I am all a-quiver with new year plans.

Since Nanowrimo was so frikkin awesome, and I've been feeling at something of a loose end since it ended (OK, for just over a week, but frankly that's too long), I've decided to embark on a (foolish, over-ambitious) project for the new year...

Basically, in a nutshell quivering with barely suppressed excitement and anticipation, starting in the first week of the new year (specific day TBC), I'm going to be posting 2000 words a week of an ongoing story, like a serial. Updates will be on Facebook and Twitter, I haven't completely worked out the logistics yet since I only decided to do it today, but if I announce it on here, I have to do it.

Is it wrong I'm seeing it as a creepy, weekly version of the Archers? I mean, it won't be, but that's how I'm fondly imagining it.

So yeah, more news on that as I think of it....:S

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Bit depressed, really.

I’ve been thinking about life quite a bit recently.

The thing of it is that if you don’t believe in God, and you don’t believe in fate or destiny, what is there? I work an eight to five job five days a week. I’m bored at work and wish entire days away. When I get home I’m too tired to do anything constructive and I spend my weekends sleeping or listening to gothic metal so I can pretend I‘m the hero of some kind of epic quest, when really I‘m popping out for milk.

So I have started to wonder what it is we are here for and what it is we are supposed to do. The sad conclusion I came to, pessimistic atheist that I am, was that we aren’t here for anything. Which is a little disconcerting to say the least. We as a people are a tiny, insignificant and purposeless collection of dots on a planet orbiting one of an infinite number of suns in a space so large it is beyond our comprehension.

And I have a cold.